It’s been a few weeks since I have reported in on my adventures in Internet dating. The truth is, I met someone that I thought was postitively wonderful. He seemed so perfect and I thought that if I wrote about him it might jinx the sweet beauty of this new relationship. I am writing about him now, however in hopes that someone can learn from my experience or at least commiserate.
Mike was attentive and interesting. He took a very strong interest in me, and better still, an interest in my kids. (He didn’t meet them, but just asked a lot about them and their lives when we were together.) Mike was handsome, funny, athletic and driven. I was really falling for this guy. I know he probably knew how I felt, but I tried to be cool. It’s so easy to read good ol’ Jenna, though and I’m sure he was pretty confident that I was falling for him. (I was.)
As the days turned into weeks, I could tell it was time for the inevitable. Mike and I planned our first weekend away and our first “over-nighter.” This was big for me because sex is completely interlinked to my heart, and I don’t consider it a small deal to sleep with a man. I felt such a connection to Mike though and it seemed like the obvious next step to take. I was so excited! We booked a room at a resort nearby and planned our trip. Everything seemed so perfect.
The location was pristine. The weather cooperated and we had warm, balmy and beach-y nights. We walked hand in hand along the beach and kissed passionately. I knew that I was falling in love with Mike. It felt so good and so right. We had a wonderful dinner at sunset with a view overlooking the ocean. When we went back the room we sat out on the balcony and drank some wine together and talked about our kids, our lives, the connection that we were making. Everything was really, really wonderful, or so I thought.
Obviously we spent the night together and let me just say for the record, Mike was an amazing, attentive lover. I will leave it at that out of respect for his privacy. It was a very happy night for me, and I thought it was for him as well. I was certain that Mike and I were falling in love and that we had much to look forward to. I was blissfully happy, and assumed he was too. He certainly acted like it.
The next morning, although Mike was still very kind and sweet he seemed distracted. We had slept in (because we were up most of the night!) and were rushed trying to eat a quick breakfast and check out by noon. I sensed there was something different, but wasn’t sure what it was. We went about the morning, checked out of the room and he gave me a big hug and a lingering kiss good-bye. I assumed everything was fine. But it wasn’t.
This is where the situation gets tricky because I honestly have no idea what went wrong, or where it happened. I am pretty sure that “Mike” would rather cut off his arm than tell me what the real problem is. It’s hard for me to accept that after a night of passion as great as ours was that things would end this way, but apparently something was off-kilter. Mike has not only not called (which prior to this he did at least once, if not twice a day) but when I did the ultimate stupid thing and called him, he texted me back and said he was tired and would talk to me “tomorrow.” Whoa. This is looking very grim. Jenna get a grip…and breathe.
My guy friend thinks it may be the classic case of “conquest over…fun over.” I didn’t realize that grown up men did this as I thought in my naivete that this behavior ended somewhere after college. Apparently not. I feel so upset and betrayed that I actually took my online profile down just to chill-out on this whole dating game for awhile. Yeah, my heart feels broken. Yeah, I feel stupid. How could I get it so wrong? Were there signs I needed to watch out for? The really pathetic part is that I still jump on my phone every time it rings. Even now–4 days of silence later–I am still hoping that I will find out he was kidnapped by terrorists and has been held hostage in a basement somewhere, still longing for me but not knowing how to reach me. This is ridiculous. I have to face up to the truth. I have been dumped and it really, really sucks. xo J.
