Archive for the 'News & Noteworthy' category

Regrettably Clever

Sometimes it is hard to appreciate the true genius, the creative spirit of lingerie designers. I’m sure you will have to agree that the designers of the following products deserve some sort of award. I think I’ll leave it to you, dear readers, to decide just what sort of award that should be.

The Sportbra, 2 screens, no waiting!When you’re tired of being a “Football Widow”, you might want to invest in the Sportsbra. It boasts all the best buzzwords: wireless, digital, and rechargeable. The screens are small enough that he’ll have to get really close to “catch all the action.”

The Swan Bra
While I must admit there is nothing of the “Ugly Duckling” about this ensemble, I just think your popularity might take a “swan dive”, if you were “feather-headed” enough to wear this one in pubic.

The C-String

The G string has nothing on the C string! No “whale tail”, no unsightly straps at all! How does it stay there? Well, I am just sure there is some physics-defying secret, because the alternative that comes to mind just makes me shudder.

The Backless Brief
As “hip huggers” gave way to “low rise”, so “bikini” must now give way to the “Backless Brief”! Although my undies won’t show when I bend over, I just can’t get over that sick feeling that my panties are slip-sliding away!

Vibrating Panty with Remote Control
What disturbs me most about these “Vibrating Panties” is the thought that i might be sitting at some important social function, like my niece’s graduation, or the installation of officers at the local Women of the Moose, or delivering a particularly moving address to the Red Hat ladies, when some fool with a universal remote just sets me off. * Shudders *

Anti-Flatulence UndergarmentThese might actually be quite a boon to mankind. It’s Anti-Flatulence pants! Finally, an undergarment that traps gastrointestinal emmissions in a special pocket, and passes them through a replaceable filter before releasing them, freshly scented, into the atmosphere. Personally, I believe that the marketing department fell down on the job when they rejected the name “Toot Sweet”!!!

300 Condoms
You will certainly be impressed to know that this lovely, ruffly lingerie set is made from 300 condoms, and rightly so. Or you would have been impressed until I show you this….1000 Condoms

This stunning evening gown is made of 1000 condoms.

Yes, gentle readers, the ingenuity and resourcefulness of the inventor, and the craftsmanship and creativity of the artist are all obvious in this weeks selection of Regrettable Undies. And, as long as these inventors and artisans keep at it, we will never run out of material for this Gallery!

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Boys Will Be Boys

Oct 09 2010 Published by under News & Noteworthy

Sexy black lingerie

You know the more I write for this website, the less anything really surprises me. Certainly this topic isn’t what I expected to be the topic du jour today, but this was so interesting and amazing to me, I just couldn’t resist.   It also affirms something I’ve always suspected about men but couldn’t prove emphatically until now. More on that in a second though–first things first.

It’s all over the news that since the beginning of August 33 Chilean miners have been stuck in very cramped quarters below ground. There has been a massive effort to not only keep these guys alive, but to figure out a way to get them safely out.

Now if you were stuck underground for over 2 months what would you be thinking about? The obvious choice to me would be the good food and drink I would want to eat once I got out of there.  I would also be thinking about all the things I would want to do that didn’t involve sweaty, stinky guys in close proximity. Now we’re getting somewhere. I’m sure they are probably all thinking about food, drink and possibly a nice hot shower. Surprisingly enough however, I did read recently that these guys are thinking a lot about lingerie. Yes it’s true. The wives and girlfriends of the miners have been instructed to go out and buy sexy underwear.

“He’s told me to buy a baby doll negligee so I’m going to. It seems we are more in love every day,” said Cristina Nunez. Jessica Salgado, wife of Alex Vega has said that her husband will be treated to some sexy black lingerie upon his arrival home.

It’s interesting to me that even in the most dire of circumstances (and here comes the proof of my hypothesis) men are still men and more than food, more than drink, more than just moving more than a few feet in any direction—they are still thinking about their women back home and are most looking forward to sex. Good sex. Actually this might be super good sex—throw in a bit of sexy lingerie and you have what might be true spontaneous combustion. After what they have been through, I’m sure they are most deserving. In any case, if all goes well and if the engineers planning the extraction give it the go-ahead, the first miners might be removed sometime tomorrow.

It’s going to be a hot time in the old town tonight. Xo J.

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Diamond Girl

Oct 04 2010 Published by under Celebrity Lingerie, News & Noteworthy

diamond bra

We’ve all heard it said that diamonds are a girl’s best friend.  Personally I have never had a sparkly rock that did me a bit of good when I was crying snot-faced over a bad break up.  Even still, I can see the aesthetic appeal of the right piece of pretty bling–especially if somehow it was associated with my ever-elusive Mr. Right.

Heidi Klum for Victoria's Secret

A number of years ago, diamond encrusted bra’s started appearing on the runway for Victoria’s Secret fashion shows.  Everyone was talking about Heidi Klum strutting down the runway in what was purported to be a $10 million dollar bra.  Egads—that’s a lot of rocks.   Being a sort of practical girl, I wondered—where exactly does one wear a $10 million dollar bra anyway?

Molly Sims for Sports Illustrated

Obviously no one cared to answer that question, nor did these bras stop appearing.  These bedazzled beauties were getting a lot of attention.  There were even a few copycats.  A few years later, I’ll be damned if Molly Sims didn’t appear on the cover of the 2006 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition in a 30 million dollar bikini.  (The bikini term used oh-so-loosely.  It’s more like BIG diamonds strung very strategically-and please, Molly– don’t move!)

Adriana Lima in Victoria's Secret Diamond Bra

This years Victoria’s Secret diamond bra will be modeled by Brazilian model Adriana Lima sometime later this fall.  With approximately 2,000 diamonds this stunning starburst bra is valued at 2.3 million dollars.  This is probably out of the reach of most of us schmucks.    Don’t despair ladies—there are plenty of truly amazing and beautiful bras out there that you can afford.  And most certainly there always is the cheapest and perhaps the sexiest bra out there—the “Hand Bra”.  Wear this one, and you are bound to be your best guy’s diamond girl—which is sort of the point, isn’t it?  Xo J.Hand bra

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