I was working with a new guy at my job the other day and was teaching him how to do a procedure on our computer system. It was during this training session that I suddenly became keenly aware that I was being checked out. Actually it was much worse than this. I was being ogled. What should have been a furtive, discretionary peek (that I would have more than likely been completely unaware of) had turned into something really creepy and obnoxious. Instead of looking me in the face, his eyes were way more interested in my 34 D’s. Suddenly I found my cheeks getting a bit hot and I got a little tense. I was sitting just a few feet from this guy and there he was, taking long extended looks at my chest. Yes, I was annoyed.

Us girls are fickle, dichotomous creatures. Most of us enjoy being sexy and we also enjoy being appreciated for our attractiveness. This appreciation walks a fine line however, and there are men out there that don’t seem to understand when they are on the very wrong side of that line. For example, there’s that sleezy guy at the gym who leans on the dumbbell rack and stares at me while I am doing upright rows…sorry bro–you are creepy.

There are exceptions to our ogling rules and there is not a doubt in my mind that this contradiction is going to frustrate some men. I’ll never forget the day I saw Matthew McConaughey at LAX. He walked right past me and looked right at me. He didn’t ogle me at all but he did look my way and smile those infamous pearly whites. I thought I would faint straight away, and let me assure you, had he ogled me, I probably would have passed out cold.   Somehow being checked out by Matthew would have made my day.

There are other times us girls go to a big effort to impress the men in our lives. Trust me, not checking us out on these occasions can be a huge mistake that a guy does not want to make. This is especially true when we’ve pulled out all the stops for a special night. We’ve got the sexy lingerie, the beautiful outfit and the pretty shoes. Please ogle, drool a little, let your jaw drop…we love all that stuff, and yes we want you to lust after us. If you don’t take notice of all that’s pretty and sexy right then, your night might not go so well.  Trust me guys…this is the time to ogle.

I know it doesn’t make a lot of sense-but like anything else in life there’s a time, a place (and you could safely include person here as well) for everything. If you’re a guy and you are going to ogle–be smart about it and choose your moments wisely! Of course, there’s always the opinion of a good friend of mine. After I told her about my uncomfortable work experience she looked at me and smugly said…”Hey…at our age, we should be grateful that anyone checks us out at all. Maybe you should be secretly happy about this.” Happy? About being ogled? Well…maybe. Xo J.