Sometimes it is hard to appreciate the true genius, the creative spirit of lingerie designers. I’m sure you will have to agree that the designers of the following products deserve some sort of award. I think I’ll leave it to you, dear readers, to decide just what sort of award that should be.

When you’re tired of being a “Football Widow”, you might want to invest in the Sportsbra. It boasts all the best buzzwords: wireless, digital, and rechargeable. The screens are small enough that he’ll have to get really close to “catch all the action.”

While I must admit there is nothing of the “Ugly Duckling” about this ensemble, I just think your popularity might take a “swan dive”, if you were “feather-headed” enough to wear this one in pubic.

The G string has nothing on the C string! No “whale tail”, no unsightly straps at all! How does it stay there? Well, I am just sure there is some physics-defying secret, because the alternative that comes to mind just makes me shudder.

As “hip huggers” gave way to “low rise”, so “bikini” must now give way to the “Backless Brief”! Although my undies won’t show when I bend over, I just can’t get over that sick feeling that my panties are slip-sliding away!

What disturbs me most about these “Vibrating Panties” is the thought that i might be sitting at some important social function, like my niece’s graduation, or the installation of officers at the local Women of the Moose, or delivering a particularly moving address to the Red Hat ladies, when some fool with a universal remote just sets me off. * Shudders *

These might actually be quite a boon to mankind. It’s Anti-Flatulence pants! Finally, an undergarment that traps gastrointestinal emmissions in a special pocket, and passes them through a replaceable filter before releasing them, freshly scented, into the atmosphere. Personally, I believe that the marketing department fell down on the job when they rejected the name “Toot Sweet”!!!

You will certainly be impressed to know that this lovely, ruffly lingerie set is made from 300 condoms, and rightly so. Or you would have been impressed until I show you this….

This stunning evening gown is made of 1000 condoms.

Yes, gentle readers, the ingenuity and resourcefulness of the inventor, and the craftsmanship and creativity of the artist are all obvious in this weeks selection of Regrettable Undies. And, as long as these inventors and artisans keep at it, we will never run out of material for this Gallery!